A Roller Coaster of Emotions
Reflecting on Loss, Resilience, and the Importance of Connection
Today, my waterproof mascara got a workout. It was a day filled with poignant moments, from bidding farewell to a former coworker to attending a virtual funeral service that technology made possible. The whirlwind continued with a return to work and culminated in a holiday party, leaving me emotionally spent. Oh, and my mascara held up better than I did today. Even after 14 hours, numerous tears, and wipes with tissue, my lashes still had length and volume. As I finally settled in with a cup of tea, I took a moment to process the profound impact of the day.
The departed soul was a colleague from my early days at the PD, a compassionate individual who transitioned from a police officer to a District Attorney and later worked as an attorney with Human Services. His dedication to upholding the law and advocating for justice was inspiring. Learning about his passing due to a battle with mental health struck me deeply, and my heart aches for the family left behind, the victims who won’t have him fighting for them, and for all of us who felt the world shining brighter with him in it.
As I reflect on this loss, I realize why it hit me so hard. Mental health struggles are a familiar territory in my family. The grief I felt today could have been my reality – choosing a gravestone for a loved one lost too soon. Thankfully, intervention and therapy came in time for us, but the harsh truth is that it’s not always the case with mental health illnesses.
If you ever feel a gut instinct to check in on someone, act on it. Reach out to those who cross your mind, even if it’s been a while. Don’t underestimate the impact of a simple text or call to let them know you’re thinking of them. Embrace those moments when you feel prompted to be a blessing and a light to others.
It’s essential to raise awareness about mental health, and in that spirit, let’s remind ourselves and others about the importance of seeking help. If you or someone you know is struggling, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. is available at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
Tomorrow, our department bids farewell to another officer, this time for a happy occasion as he takes on a leadership role in a neighboring city. While it’s bittersweet to see colleagues leave, it’s a testament to growth and new beginnings.
As I navigate this emotional roller coaster, I find solace in the loving support of my husband’s hugs, the comforting presence of friends, and the strength borrowed from those who help me hold it together until I can get home (Thanks, Tammy!). Oh, and in the midst of it all, a massive snowstorm looms, reminding me of life’s unpredictability – much like my migraine signaling a doozy of a system is coming.
Leave a Reply